Friday, May 26, 2006

How many Indians does it take to go on the moon?

Mannmohan Singh to Bush - We are sending Indians to
the moon next year.
Bush - Wow! How Many?
Manmohan Singh - 100
25 - OBC
25 - SC
20 - S
5 - Handicapped
5 - Sports Persons
5 - Terrorism Affected
5 - Kashmiri Migrants
9 - Politicians
and if possible
1 - Astronaut

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Business Bazigar getting interesting...

The show is getting interesting episode by episode. First they gave the contestants 1 rupee and asked them to make money out of it in a day in Mumbai (and people did make thousands!) and now they have given them 1 lakh to each team and asked them to make more money out of it!

One of the best reality shows to hit on the screen so far.

My office is under police cover...

Last friday, was surprised to see a huge bandobast of police outside my office. Even today, the police is still there but instead of full force, only 4-5 of them are posted outside the building. The reason?

Well Sony Pictures - the distributors of Da Vinci Code have their corporate office in our building only - hence the bandobast.

Now Quotas for Hijdas...

not to be left behind, the All India Hijda Union is demanding a 2% quota reservation for themselves....

I thought I'd seen it all.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Sachin faces yorkers from Rajya Sabha

Just read a small piece in newspaper. A Congress Rajya Sabha member it seems have criticized media's coverage of Tendulkar visiting temple and praying for 'divine intervention'/speedy recovery. He says it promotes superstition and media should restrain itself from airing such footages. It's so amusing. Isn't it true that when it comes to seeking blessings for victory in election, it's these very politicians who lead the pack to the temples, gurudwaras & mosques of the country. If the member is so much concerned about the spreading of superstition, then he should have also voiced his opinion on all those after 10pm 'sansani' & 'kal kapat' kind of programmes that are hogging airspace. Watch those programmes and you will feel we are still living in a primitive world.

My secret of being overworked revealed....

(if you can't read the text, right click on the image and open it in a new window)

 Posted by Picasa

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

TRUE TALES OF INDUHVIDUALS

those familiar with dilbert and his Dogbert's New Ruling Class will be familiar with the true tales of 'in-duh-viduals' that get posted from time to time. Out of the latest lot of true tales my favourite one....

Our company just announced that it was outsourcing one of our groups to India. At the meeting that was held to make the announcement, one of the people in a group closely related to the outsourced group (and is probably next to go) was asking a lot of questions as to the merits and wisdom of moving the jobs to India. Finally the manager running the meeting asked her, “Don’t you think that the people in India deserve to have jobs and have a better standard of living?” The room was completely silent (crickets chirping in the background). No one bothered asking any more questions.

More tales can be viewed on:
http://www.dilbert.com/comics/dilbert/dnrc/html/newsletter63.html



The day an ordinary citizen chased police..

What happens when a police walla breaks rule and gets flagged down by a citizen?

Read this blog to find out:

http://my-bangalore.blogspot.com/2006/05/oh-well-what-hell_04.html

How Lokesh Sapre Got Deadline, Got Googlised, Got Away Unnoticed

I have to create collaterals for some sales guys on a few services. Now these are services that we have never really ventured into much but the collateral should sound this way as if we were the pioneers in this service. So what will I do? I will simply do a quick search about those services on google, download interesting stuff related to the topic, pick up a line from here and there - rehash the whole stuff, pepper it with my own adjectives and adverbs, change the flavor of the topic to make it interesting and business like and dish it out in my company's collateral template. Simple.

'Reusable Component' is a term that's commonly used in IT companies. Though it's mainly for reusing software components but also gets extended to writing service collaterals, whitepapers, techical papers etc. 99% people in the IT industry googlise. 1% people like Aziz Premji, Narayan Krishnamurthy do it without opening a browser.

Ask any marketing manager or a PM in any IT firm if he/she has created any proposal/collateral/paper without referring to any other material from the net. Yes, I know referring doesn't mean copying but I intend to say that in the same breath. Copying for me is not lifting 'as it is'. If put in Bollywoodish term, it means 'getting inspired'. The reason being, more than often, we try to retain or bring about the same flavor in our stuff that is already there available. Only thing that gets changed is the presentation - the tone, the style, the jazz.

As a senior top management guy once told me - Why reinvent the wheel?

Thursday, May 04, 2006

My brief encounter with Pramod Mahajan

Another icon has whiffed away in the air.

Pramod Mahajan - perhaps one of the only guys in BJP with whom the younger generation as well as the older one could connect to.

Pramod Mahajan- India Inc.'s poster boy, the man who revolutionised IT & telecom sector.

Pramod Mahajan - an outstanding orator & a skilled 'thinking' politician.

Pramod Mahajan - undoubtedly the only candidate in BJP who had full potential to becoming a Prime Minister some day.

I think the 'young' politicians of India who have created impact by the way they have functioned are really cursed ones. Rajiv Gandhi, Madahav Rao Scindhia, Rajesh Pilot...and now Pramod Mahajan.

I had the priviledge of meeting Pramod during my advertising days at Crayons. We were handling BJP campaign and b4 election were announced, I used to visit BJP headquarters a lot for collating publicity stuff or for presentations etc. During these meetings, rubbed my shoulders with couple of big names including Mr. Vajpayee himself but it was Mr. Mahajan with whom I had lot of interaction. The guy had a charismatic personality. You couldn't argue with him, or perhaps we being the vendors, never did. The guy was always surrounded by his chela chapatas who used to through weight around, but when it came to taking decisions like even approving small banner lines, Pramod used to call the shots. His knack for being technology savvy was reflected in the BJP headquarter media room. A young team that he had created used to sit here 24x7 watching each and every news item on TV, scanning through all print media reports, making databases of important stuff on comps.

In a recent interview he said he wished to be the Sachin Tendulkar of politics. He was on his way, no doubt about that. But unlike Sachin, I guess fate wanted him to take a break permanently from life.

Sanjay Suri-Tom Cruise connection

Read in one of the papers that Sanjay Suri is hoping that if he ever have a son, he would wish his son marries Tom Cruise's daughter. This way, she would be called as Suri Suri.

(for those who didn't get the joke, recently Tom Cruise named his new born daughter as 'Suri').

Bada Ghatiya Ad. Hai yeah...!

I have most of the time admired Pepsi ads. HTA (now JWT) was not known for very 'creative' kinda stuff..but Pepsi was one account for which they used to dish out real good stuff. But sorry to say, the standards are falling now.

The Bada Bubbly Channel Hai Yeah is a BIG disappointment. The teaser ads. endorsed by virtually entire celebrity clan under Pepsi banner created helloa hype about this new 'Pepsi TV' to be launched/coming soon. Finally when the main ad. came featuring Sharukh Khan, Kareena & Priyanka Chopra- it turend out to be such a big disappointment.

Sample the logic of the teasers that got built up in the main ad:

Yeah kaisa Channel hai?
Jab TV dektey..dekhtey..aap Pepsi peetey ho....to usko PEPSI TV kehtey hai!!!?????

I drink Bornvita...so will I call it Bournvita TV??!!! Or better still, du-du (milk) TV..

In the past, even promo ads. have always been witty or atleast had some 'rational' logic to it. This one is really outrageous. Only saving grace - Kareena & Priyanka in a Manish Malhotra designed mechanic wardrobe.

Wonder how many crores went down the drain over this media splurge.

I strongly support reservations for OBCs....

(Got this piece in one of the fwd. mails sent by a friend)..
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I think we should have job reservations in all the fields. I completely support the PM and all the politicians for promoting this. Let's start the reservation with our cricket team. We should have 10 percent reservation for muslims. 30 percent for OBC, SC/ST like that. Cricket rules should be modified accordingly. The boundary circle should be reduced for an SC/ST player. The four hit by an OBC player should be considered as a six and a six hit by a OBC player should be counted as 8 runs. An OBC player scoring 60 runs should be declared as a century. We should influence ICC and make rules so that the pace bowlers like Shoaib Akhtar should not bowl fast balls to our OBC player. Bowlers should bowl maximum speed of 80 kilometer per hour to an OBC player. Any delivery above this speed should be made illegal.

Also we should have reservation in Olympics. In the 100 meters race, an OBC player should be given a gold medal if he runs 80 meters. There can be reservation in Government jobs also.

Let's recruit SC/ST and OBC pilots for aircrafts which are carrying the ministers and politicians (that can really help the country.. )

Ensure that only SC/ST and OBC doctors do the operations for the ministers and other politicians. (Another way of saving the country..)

Let's be creative and think of ways and means to guide INDIA forward... Let's show the world that INDIA is a GREAT country. Let's be proud of being an INDIAN.. May the good breed of politicans like ARJUN SINGH long live...

So, what do you think, huh???

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

GoaFest winner



I had seen this ad couple of days back in Hindustan Times. The ad. won viewer's choice award at the recently concluded GoaFest Advertising awards. What made the whole thing very interesting was that a very good friend of mine - Tanuj Ahuja had shot this beautiful picture. What's more, the sweet little baby in the ad. happens to be Tanuj's daughter herself. Wonder how much Tango charged for her daughter's 1st modelling assignment ;-) Posted by Picasa

Visa Power

The day I was diagnosed with slip disc, 3-4 days later, I had to leave for Indore to attend a wedding. But more than that I was more worried if I would be able to attend my US Consulate Visa interview which was 2 weeks down the line. The Indore trip got cancelled but fortunately was in shape to attend the Visa interview.

I was quite lucky to get date for the interview within 10 days of HR submitting the form so didn't want to miss it. Didn't drive, but hired a car to drop me and take me back home from the Consulate. Reached there an hour b4 the interview time and saw my friend Avi already there.

On the eve of interview, I was cramming the HR briefing dos/don't sheet regarding the interview. What to speak, how much to speak, things to avoid, etc. Both of us were getting these jittery vibes of what if we don't get the visa...we would become outcasts in our office ;-)

In an hour I was called in for the interview. After finishing all the pre-interview formalities, I waited for my number in a line. My friend was standing in another line. His turn came b4 me. To his and my surprise, his interview lasted exactly for a minute. In fact less than that. All that the firang asked him was where was his native place and how long had his family being staying there. That's it. He got the visa but was terribly disappointed coz the whole nite and morning he had mentally crammed answers and the firang's response turned out to be an anti-climax.

My process went quite smoothly with the firang, who was in friday friendly mood, smiled n joked with me while asking questions relating to my edcational background/project/BSIL/profile etc. Out of all that the best one was.... "you are working in an IT company for so long.... and you don't even have a Diploma in computers...how?" ..I wish I could have told him: Even I don't know how. :-)

I am back from my forced leave

It feels good to be back on my feet. As you all might be knowing, I was diagnosed with slip disc a couple of weeks back. Man..it's pretty painful..and in my case the slip disc was a different case. The 'slipped' disc of spinal was crushing a nerve that was passing to the left leg due to which I was having sharp pain in my left leg and literally couldn't move/sit or stand. A few weeks of bed rest and a constant accessory that I have to wear at least for 8 weeks(lumbar belt) has reduced the pain and now I am back in action.